My faith deconstruction journey

[anamg_mb]

Hi everyone, I'd like to share with you the main reasons why I'm here today, why I consider myself an agnostic, and how it all started for me. Of course this is in general terms, because I could go on and on about each of these stages in my deconstruction process, but that's not the idea.

My journey has been like this:

• There were always certain things in the bible that I would read and think like what the heck did I just read. Examples of that are urim and thummim, God fighting Jacob, angels that then were described as God, the different names of God, why I had to put up with reading hebrew genealogy, some of Jesus' parables, hell, sacrifices, like where they came from (which later I descovered people way before the hebrews practiced sacrifices), etc.
• I questioned the bible months ago, I thought about why it was organized like it is and not any other way, why other humans decide what goes in it and what doesn't, they're just like me, why do they make choices about what God said and what he didn't, they're helping God, who do they think they are
• I questioned Jesus and the whole new testament seeing how influenced it was by pre-Socratic philosophies, so I thought Jesus is just a man who acted like he was the annointed one from God, started deciding what to do and what to stop observing from the old testament, but how do we know he's right? Paul speaks more like a philosopher than like a follower of Christ
• I questioned the whole new testament thinking it was just added by men because religion was dying and they needed to add something newer and more modern
• I questioned the old testament stories thinking they were added by men and followed cultural traditions but were nothing like what God wanted from humanity, so I decided the 10 commandments are the definite and purest rules to live by as given by God
• Then I started wondering wait a minute, why doesn't God reveal himself like he did back then as described in the bible? Why can't he come down right now and reveal to me what he supposedly revealed to Abraham, Isaac or Jacob? The bible is too confusing so I need some explaining!
• That's when I came to the conclusion that all was ispired, invented and written by men. Then it all started to make sense!

So that's me, but I'd like to know about other people's reasons, I'm really curious as to why you decided to become agnostic, atheist, or even why you're still believers or became believers. Sorry if I'm not so clear, English is not my native language!

 

[AgnosticBoy]

English is not my native language!

You are doing good. Practice makes perfect!

So that's me, but I'd like to know about other people's reasons, I'm really curious as to why you decided to become agnostic, atheist, or even why you're still believers or became believers.

My story is more about why I didn't become an atheist after leaving Christianity.

I was born and raised into Christianity, but started questioning it when I was 19 or 20. Basically, the objections to the Bible started adding up and I could no longer bring myself to look at it as some holy book. So losing respect for the Bible was one reason. BUT, I never went as far as hating the Bible like it seems many atheists do. Another big reason was that I didn't like the Christian approach to things. I would often find that even reasonable Christians start off accepting their worldview as correct, and then apply logic and science in line with that. That in a sense meant that their minds were already made up.

Now to the atheist side... I found that atheists could also be just as dogmatic as Christians, as if they also had their minds made up that no God exists, eventhough they would claim that they simply lacked belief. Their actions and identity (negative atheists?) weren't consistent. SO I decided to settle on agnostic. And so far, the atheist side has even strengthened my agnosticism because I came to realize that they also have doctrines or unproven philosophies that they accept, like materialism, metaphysical naturalism, etc. So I definitely can not bring myself to become an atheist either for these reasons. Therefore, I'm a strong agnostic.

But keep in mind also, that I see agnosticism as a point-of-view that goes beyond just saying I don't know. The founder of agnosticism followed principles that would reinforce the agnostic spirit. I talk about this more here: The Intellectual Side of Agnosticism: a call to progress beyond "I don't know"

 

[Multicolored Lemur]

Paul speaks more like a philosopher than like a follower of Christ

Surprising how little Paul includes the life of Jesus, such as miracles or what Jesus said. The big exception is the Resurrection of Jesus, but even here I don’t think Paul includes the thief on the cross or Jesus crying out to God.

Paul had an epilepsy seizure and experienced a vision of Jesus. And I guess he views Jesus as kind of a neat, clean celestial figure ? ?

The other thing is that some letters of Paul were written before the Gospels. For example,

1st Corinthians, around 55 AD

The Gospel of Mark, around 70 AD

* as a personal editorial comment, I’ll add “at the earliest”

 

[Multicolored Lemur]

Now to the atheist side... I found that atheists could also be just as dogmatic as Christians, as if they also had their minds made up that no God exists, eventhough they would claim that they simply lacked belief.

And I think social media makes things worse. In fact, it should often be called “anti-social media” ! ! !

I hope you think I’m a reasonable atheist, at least most of the time.

I think Christianity is no more likely to be true than Hinduism, or Islam, or Buddhism, or Native American Indian creation beliefs. Meaning, vanishingly unlikely in all cases.

And regarding the Bible . . .

One part of the Old Testament says Solomon had 4,000 horses, and another part says he has 40,000. Some Christians will say, just error on the part of the scribe esp. since the ancient Hebrew words for “four thousand” and “forty thousand” are highly similar. Other Christians will argue stables “of” horses vs. “for” horses.

I think we should just accept that what looks like a contradiction probably is a contradiction.

And same for the weird parts. For example, in Exodus chapter 4, God plans to kill Moses and then changes his mind when Moses’ wife Zipporah quickly circumcises their infant son.

Wow, that’s a little weird, but it’s there. I think we should just accept it rather than trying to argue around it.

And in general, the Bible deserves the same respect as any other ancient text.

the same respect, no more, no less

 

[AgnosticBoy]

And I think social media makes things worse. In fact, it should often be called “anti-social media” ! ! !

Agreed!

I hope you think I’m a reasonable atheist, at least most of the time.

Just your agnostic side!...

All joking aside. I think you are reasonable atheist.... should've stressed more that I wasn't referring to all atheists. Not even all agnostics are reasonable either. I'd like to think I am most of the time.

I also believe that the Bible should be treated like any other book. The reasonable person will tend to build their worldview as they encounter facts. As a Christian, I felt that I was obligated to start with a worldview, and then go looking for evidence that would support it (which tends to come with not admitting evidence that goes against it). Clearly, that goes against following the evidence whereever it leads!